Friday, January 14, 2011

i'm taking a chance & ranting

I'm putting it out there.  I'm laying everything including my blog on the line.  There's alot of things in life that I don't understand and even more that we're not supposed to understand. 

But I understand this much.  People gravitate towards other people. Typically.  You want people to like you.  It's a human being's natural instict - to be liked.  And here lately, I've had a really problem with this. 

This post isn't trying to grab comments or sympathy or the "we're sorries."  Its not and if this further isolates myself, thats fine.  Maybe its me being a little green with envy, which is possible, we are all guilty of that at some point in our lives too, but I've noticed a few things that I really need to put out there, so my blogging experience can continue without feeling this grudge for being me.  

On the great blogosphere, I sometimes feel non-existent to most of the blogger world.  You blog to your little heart's content & nothing.  People are reading, but nothing.  I sometimes feel its like another popularity contest people are having with one another.  We shouldn't have to conform & be the way everyone wants us to be to get "comments" or new followers.  We shouldn't & thats how I feel this works.  Be someone I'm not to gain being noticed.  And I also know we're not all going to be friends and love each other and think everything everyone says is totally life changing, but if you are my friend and follower, please at least appear that you are semi-invested in my blog. Dont just stick around for your benefit only. Its wasting my time and yours. It hurts to know that you're sharing your life with the world, but it appears as though no one is listening. And if they are, they have nothing to say. 

For my gems out there that I can talk to & write to, its nice having you around. I shouldn't have to name you by name, you know who you are, you shouldn't have to ask. To be able to know I can say how I feel without that feeling of complete isolation because I expressed myself is such a nice feeling.  I enjoy having you as a part of my blogger world.  You have made this a much more pleasant place to be.  You have made my blogging worth it & I thank you for this.

If this post happens to piss people off and drive you away, then I understand, but I had to get this off my chest in order to be able to feel okay with myself at the end of the day.

This just had to be said.


  1. I feel the same way! But I am glad you continue to put yourself out there because I just found you and you immediately went into my "favs" folder in reader! :) I do wonder what it takes to make real connections sometimes. I dont feel like my content is much different than the blogs with 20+ comments a day, or like I put in any less effort. Wish I knew the secret ;)

  2. totally understand. i often think the same thing. blogging is almost like a popularity contest at times. i know some people who have started their blogs only a few months a go and already have hundreds of readers and lots of comentors. i wonder how they do it. i mean they are great and i love them.
    i noticed that when i would follow and comment on other small blogs they would come back and comment too but gosh i don't have that kind of time to keep finding new blogs just so that i get my blog known... i'm sure with time we'll get more and more readers. gotta think positive. :)

  3. Well said. I know what you mean... Sometimes it feels like nobody cares what you have to say... And that's ok. Still say it if you want to. Screw what other people think! If they like you they'll keep coming back and interacting. If they don't, they can be on their merry way. Just be you.

  4. Don't ever feel non-existent--because to those of us who love what you write, you certainly exist, my dear! I definitely feel you though...blogging from your heart will ALWAYS win though. Don't get discouraged--just keep at it :) much love, {av}

  5. I'm glad I'm a newbie follower... I'm a good commenter too... so we'll work out just great! :)

  6. Very well put!! You deserve more than you get!! I agree with {av} Keep at it because I know you'll grow into something BIG! :D

  7. blogging can be so frustrating at times. i totally understand where you're coming from, i hope things get better for you soon :)

  8. hello love...i'm sorry i am a little late reading this post.

    i want you to know that i am here and i absolutely an invested in your blog and the things you have to say. i am glad you got this off your chest and i certainly don't think anyone has a right to be angry with these comments ♥ i'm here for the long haul.

    you are a gem yourself bethani! and i am so lucky to have you as a blogging friend xo

  9. I totally hear ya!! For me, blogging has already been a bit of a rollercoaster. I agree with with lindsay, you are a gem! Keep going strong:)

  10. for as long as i've been blogging, i can tell you that i feel you! i've never been the one to hide anything on Freckles and fact if you go way back you will find posts where i blew up on people asking for follows and rude comments just to boost them up! i know exactly how you feel! i still feel the same way! blogging is not something you start to become rich{it just doesnt happen that way} it's a huge world {bloggy world} and everyone feels like a little fish swimming with the sharks....yes we write for ourselves but it's nice to know those who are following you actually read you! they didn't do it to gain a follow in return but sadly, that is how most of this blog land works...which is why I dedicated a place where people shouldn't feel like that....i think ftlob is the only place that has a pledge stating that you should follow blogging tip #14....everyone else out there is in it for themselves and knowing how you feel I wanted a place to flip all of that...

    i dont have the follower gadget on F&F for this very reason! if you like my blog you can add me to your sidebar....I add everyone I enjoy reading to my sidebar! maybe I cannot comment everyday like people would like but they also have to understand that my phone doesn't allow me to do so, i'm a mom and i work from respectably, I have everyones blogs up on my screen all day long (i have my computer hooked to my huge flat screen) and read every blog i follow (true) but at the same time, I am homeschooling my daughter, cleaning and if i have to run without leaving a comment then so be it!

    I used to think that because no one was leaving comments on my posts that they weren't reading! BOY was I wrong! You would be surprised at how many people read you and enjoy you but don't comment for their own reasons...a comment is nice to get but sometimes it's impossible...

    if your upset at any people coming over from FTLOB or me....then bring it to my attention so i can address it.....but also learn to ignore people asking for follows in return (i always delete them if i can) blow it off and continue to do what your doing for you and nobody else....

    if i can help you grow and give you personal tips via email please feel free! i'm not just in it for myself...i love helping people and if i'm not then we need to fix that! but do know that i enjoy your site and i wouldn't have added you to my sidebar if i hadn't! don't give many times as i've switched, deleted and started something new...don't give up! keep at last tip is that a successful blog doesn't happen over takes work but in the end you will be extremely proud of all the hard work you did put in...because running a blog can be hell sometimes! hang tight! let me know if i can help any way i can!:)

  11. I just read 2 comments from fridays post where they said they came from one of my hops! I will be sure to blow their heads off! Don't fuck with me and my people! I have no time for it and as much as I've expressed how i want my hops to be run, they go behind my back and do the shit that I don't approve of...I will take care of this!

  12. Oh I feel the SAME way... I really do... i was just thinking about this very topic the other day. Nice to know someone else has those thoughts! I am very happy i found your blog so you know you've got a loyal reader and commenter in me!!

  13. i may have been a little rude when leaving a comment on one of those blogs but it really peeves me when no one reads....i'm sorry if ftlob made you come to this rant...i totally understand and never meant for anyone to leave copy and pasted goes against everything i stand for and i'm only one person so i cannot control everyone out there...just know that you're a huge part of our club and we love you and i want to see more of you on those hops and so do others....:) please let me apologize on their behalf and let me know if i can do anything to make you feel more at ease:) xoxo hope your having a magical sunday morn,...

  14. I love the fact that you wrote what you really's very important to be yourself!!!And with this way people will love you because you are adorable my dear!!!!!!! I totally enjoy your blog and your sweet posts!!!!So don't worry and everything is going to be just FINE!!!!!!We are a big family here...xexeeeee

  15. hello!! i really appreciated this post! ive been blogging w/followers for about a year, but as a "fitness blog" that i really didnt expect anyone to read. only in the past month or so have i started trying to network via different sites & blogfrog .. but not because i want followers (although it's nice when people think you're interesting enough to follow!) but because i want to form friendships and connections with people around the world! but how does that happen? good question!

    have a great night!

    ps - dont ever apologize for ranting on your blog! its your blog!! :)


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