Thursday, January 13, 2011

bittersweet - the backstory of When A Girl Met A Boy

Driving to and from work gives me alot of thinking time. Alot of time to think about how my life could have been different if this or that would have happened. Like:

Would my life be different if I went to the prom?
Would my life be different if I didnt quit TAMUCC and move back home?
Would my life be different if I never signed on that day?
Would my life be different if I never said no?
Would my life be different if I was different?

Would my life be different statements run through all of our heads at some point in time. Some of us more than others. I used to be really guilty of having all those what if moments in my life, until I met the mister.

The mister and I had an unconventional, but growing way of meeting, but I have to give you a little back story first.

I hated dating. So much that I hated the concept until I was sixteen, when I had my first date ever, and it was because my cousin set me up on a date - which by the way failed miserably.

After that I never really dated much, just because I was more focused on school and graduating then about how many guys I would date through my high school career or how popular I was. Consider me the school bookworm, nerd, dork, ugly girl, whatever. I never was popular when it came to the guys in high school. I was like the girl in She's All That or Never Been Kissed. Always the butt of the joke, never the joke maker. And I was okay with that.

High school came and went. I moved to Corpus Christi to study biology. Met a guy, who was, looking back a total scumbag, got homesick and moved home. This lasted about a year and a half.

Once I moved back home I just kinda went with the flow and dated someone else for what at that point seemed like a long time. It seemed to work. But life took an unexpected turn when I found out he was still seeing from time to time his past girlfriend. And I'm not one that likes conflict - I avoid conflict like the plaque! I get all red and flushed and feel like crying when conflict happens. But this I couldn't take. Cheating is just something no person should have to tolerate. We broke up & at that point I really swore of guys. Like its just not happening, no way no how.

My friends said Bethani you have to get back out there. They are not all this way. So I tried. And tried. And tried. Finally a friend of mine said, "Try out Match. You have a free trial. If you don't like it, cancel." So I did.

With just a few days until the end of the trial, my faith in online dating was going down the toliet until I got a message from the mister. He seemed way too good to be true. Seriously. I had a guard up at that point. I didn't trust ANYONE of the male gender. But we began talking. And talking.

At the same time the mister and I began talking, my grandpa (mother's father) became very ill and had to be admitted to the hospital..  This was a few days before Christmas 2008. 

On December 12, 2008 the mister and I met face to face for the first time and man was he quite the looker.  I was totally smitten at that time.  We had dinner & went to a movie.  From that day on we were insepereable.  

Christmas came and went and so did the New Year.  Things with the mister were moving right along.  Then on January 10, 2008 I was to meet his mom and step-dad.  Oh I was so nervous.  This was the same day, my grandpa was moving into a new rehab hospital, so he could finish up recovery.  I had butterflies in my stomach all day.  What would his mother think of me?  Would she approve?   Dinner came along and I met what I now know would be my future mother & father in laws.  Everything was great.  The food was delish and the conversation was better.  Until the phone rang. 

It was my dad, and the thing about me and my dad, is we don't call each other much, so I KNEW something had to be wrong.  Its just not in him to call like that, especially since they knew I was meeting his mom and step dad that night.  I remember his tone that night, it was different.  Not like other days.  This was the beginning of the end.

His words were along the line of "You need to get to the hospital, Grandpa is dying."  Those words were the words I never wanted to hear from anyone about anyone.  But that's life so we deal with it.  I remember the teardrops immediately began running down my face while I'm standing in the mister's mother's house.  I felt embarassed.  The people I met only a few hours ago are already seeing me at my worst. 

I knew I had to leave and get to the hospital and FAST!  So I grabbed my purse, hugged them goodbye and headed for the door.  The mister was behind me.  I had every intention of telling him bye as well, but he said, "I'm taking to you to the hospital." "Really, you want to do that?" ran through my mind.  He hadn't met any of my family at that point either.  I was like this is not the time or place to be meeting my family.  I was scared for him! Really scared!   The drive to the hospital was the longest drive of my life.  The road kept going and going.  We finally arrived & the mister met my family.  The whole family! 

And that was the night (well 2am the next morning January 11, 2009) that my grandpa died and went to be with his Lord and the night I realized the mister was the one I was going to marry.


  1. What a beginning to our lives together but I wouldnt change it for anything. It may not have been conventional but we aren't conventional people so that wouldn't have been us. I know that January 10th was the last day of your grandpas life but it was the first day that I knew I couldn't be without you. I love you so much!!

  2. My Mr. M was there for me when my Granny passed away in August. It's amazing how those moments really bring you closer and bring so many realizations to life! We were already engaged at the time. But I was so CLOSE to her that having him there for me still meant the world and just made my decision to say yes to him that much better.
    Sound like you've found yourself a wonderful guy! Bet it was worth all the losers before!

  3. What a great man you have there. I think your grandpa would have more than approved :)
    And I was just talking about those 'what if' moments in my post the other day. There are so many things that had to go right/wrong for me and the hubs to even meet (we are from different countries). I don't know if it is fate, destiny, or just plain ol' dumb luck, but I am truly grateful for it all. I am glad to see you are too

  4. ohmygoodness. how good is the Lord? I have always believed that He puts people in our lives at the precise time we need them...just like he did with the mister. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your heart...much love, {av}

  5. What a beautiful story. I'm sorry about your grampa:( I call my what if moments my sliding door moments (bacause of the movie...)I have had many & I think about them almost always while I'm in the car!
    Happy Friday

  6. What a beautiful story.... I truly think that what was meant to be for you came to be... I love stories like this! Divine intervention for sure...

  7. beautiful story! Sad about your grandpa but wonderful that you had somoen to be there for you! The mister's comment on this point was too cute too! You guys are awesome - you can feel the love through the post! :)

    new follower - hope you will stop by and visit my blog - Mom to 2 Posh Lil Divas! You can also follow me on twitter! Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

    Twitter - @bern425


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