Wednesday, April 22, 2009

shake it off and take a stand

so i've posted before about my weight loss trials and trepidations. its been a tough road.. after i moved back from CC i had a really hard time because I had gained alot of additional weight while I lived down there, and my weight continued to fluctuate after moving home until Janaury 2008. I kept telling myself that i had to do something, because it was getting disheartening when I would go clothes shopping or even ponder putting on a swim suit or having to change clothes in a locker room..

my whole public school experience was not exciting for me. i was the odd shaped kid.. i had freckles, frizzy hair, and didnt have the image or body of a girl until i got to high school and by that point i didnt care anymore. i heard all the jokes, whispers, everything from everyone it seemed like.. i was also the butt of many bets during my junior and senior year of high school, but i refused to let them win at their little games.

January 2008 I got serious. I wasn't going to let my life continue to be something I didnt want it to be. I made a plan and have stuck to it (well mostly) since then, exercising, eating right and trying to love myself for the way God made me. I've lost about 50lbs since then and am finally getting to the point of self acceptance. I still battle with the skin tone thing. I can't tan to save my life, and for once it would be awesome to wear a pair of shorts and not worry about someone making a comment about how white I am.. it just doesnt happen for some people.

recently I have fallen off the exercise/eating right wagon, because of the house and job stress. next week thats all changing. I'm getting back out there.. I'm going to continue what I started....

I am determined to finish the battle with my inner stubborn self.. I WILL WIN!!

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