Worry wart syndrome-

I tend to overcomplicate my life alot by worrying about things that are stupid and shouldnt be worried about. I even worry when there is no need to worry.

I've also started thinking that no matter how much I lose, I dont think I will ever be happy wearing a bathing suit. And ugh, this is something that has been a goal of mine for what seems like forever. Yes I can put one on and go "Wow, I dont look bad in it." But I don't feel happy, which is the sad part. Meh maybe its stupid woman wiring that has lead me to think this way.

P.S. He has become my life. And I'm totally okay with that. :)

where were you 365 days ago?

I must say one year ago I could have said I would have been a future mrs to the past relationship in my life.. I thought everything was great.. I was wrong..

I've moved on to someone new that I can look back at my past and say is so much better for me.

this past years obstacles, trials, miracles, and even few and far between accomplishments has led to see one of the craziest, most hectic, wonderful, and possibly one of the most satisfyingm rewarding and lifes purpose finding years of my life.

I have learned so many things.. I have failed at some many things.. Accomplished many things. Experienced great things. Observed some of lifes little miracles. And met some of the greatest people in my life.. All within the last 365 days..

Amazing I know.. And for that I am grateful and thankful..

Think about your last year.. Can you say the same thing?

It's seeming complete, even though it has its hasty moments

I haven't blogged in quite sometime, which seems as though I am letting myself down, only because I told myself I would do this regularly as a way to get out what I have to say, since I dont have many around to say it to.

Many things have been happening in my life since I posted last which was several months ago.. How pathetic right?

1.) I have joined a gym and gotten a personal trainer. As many know I have recently (Jan 2008) told myself I was going to kick this lazy Bethani lifestyle out and bring in one that was healthier, more active, and basically just feels better about getting out of bed everyday. In my past, alot of my days were spent fighting with myself to get up and go everyday. But currently I'm down about 40 lbs and feel completely great about myself. Yes I do still have a few problem areas that need attention (thus why I have a trainer,) but with time I know those can be fixed to my liking.

2.) My brother and his wife, Amanda have resolved all of their immature drama issues and are now rekindling what they need to have in order to maintain a healthy and long-lasting marriage. Thank God for that one!

3.) I have move in with my grandparents. Its better for me, my dad and my mom that I did that. We are more at peace now. And knowing I am able to assist my grandparents in small tasks to make their lives a little easier is always humbling..

4.) I met someone. Shocking I know, because I was seriously getting to the point where I was shunning off men and thinking I would never find someone I could truly be happy with. And then he hit (not literally) like a brick wall. He is absolutely amazing and fits in my life like a custom made ball gown. I still remember our first date and how taken aback I was the whole time, thinking how real this could not possibly be.

5.) My baking/cooking clock has been turned on at a high rate of speed. Women always talk about their baby/mommy clocks ticking.. Yea I still have yet to desire that.. *Please note* I have no desire to desore that either. But I currently LOVE cooking and baking and everything to do with the preparation of food. Maybe thats the pre fall in love with boy readiness skills I have beenlacking. I mean I have always been able to cook and bake, but had no want or desire to. Thats different now.

6.) Emilee is walking and has a tooth. Yay.. She's getting to be a big girl so fast..

Call me old, but these are a few of my babies

Yes that's right. I'm 24 years young and I collect antique tea cups and saucers... Here's just a few that I have, or what I've snapped pictures of here lately out of boredom.

The one about is from a German Cruise ship back in the 50's I believe.

Above: My dad got me this one in Louisiana.

Above: The one on the left I acquire from an antique mall and the one on the right from my mother for Christmas

Above: The one on the left is another antique store buy and the right another gift from my mother..

PS I have another 6 or so in my room that I dont have pictures of yet, but will post when I do. Then I am inheriting all my grandparents tea cups and saucers, which is another like 15-20.. Hopefully I will have pictures of them soon too!

Its finally working.... enjoy...

This is one of my most favorite pictures of all time.

Its from NYC when I went last October. I think that this tends to capture alot of hidden beauty that the world has to offer us but we are to busy to see it, and sometimes through the lens of a camera, we are able to capture it in all of its greatness.

I dont know what it is about it but everytime I look at it, I get this overwhelming sense of peace and happiness..










This is another picture that overwhelms me with peace and serenity when I look at it. When I look at it, it takes all the bad in the world away. Everything about this picture is happy emotions.




This is part of the landscape outside where I was staying while I was there.

Simple looking up while in NYC at all the tall giant size buildings that they have to offer there.

Again simplicity at its best.

Okay so thats a few of the pictures from NYC, just simple pictures that make me happy and smiley when I look at them... Here's more recent, random ones.

Seeing this sign in the afternoons makes me happy, this is where I exit to my house! YAY

My grandma (mom's mom,) whom I gonna be just like when I get old.

Oh how I excited I am.. :)