where's waldo??

i know i know! i said i was coming back to blogging and then bam! gone for weeks. well those with small ones know you blog when ya can & then you just make up for the missed posts at another time! and by making up for missed posts i have many!

so what have we been up to you ask? lots!!

first of all - the winner of the giveaway from the beginning of the month has been revealed! did you win? contact me to claim your winnings!

we are also doing the following:
-husband and i had like an official night out alone! no friends, no benjamin. just us!
-benjamin has begun teething! egads! & supported sitting! & eating cereal! OMG! where has my baby boy gone?!
-we painted!
-ive got stuff from crowdtap & bzzagent to review!
-got a few more recipes under my belt
- & basically just been enjoying been that SAHM life with my boys.

i've been reading along on other blogs during quiet/nap times & love to see where everyone is at in their lives!

have a wonderful wednesday everyone.

the next chapter of my novel..

over the past several months, husband and i have been keeping a semi-secret. and i have been over the moon about it since we finally made a decision, but just started speaking of it recently on instagram, once the parties affected found out.

i'm gonna be a stay at home mom!  well for the most part. with the ridiculous costs of daycare against my income plus gas, it was not worth it. i have taken a part-time job to help keep me from going totally bonkers plus bring a little extra money so we can still afford life without relying on ramen noodles and hot dogs as food.

it was a very hard decision to make. working eight years in one place gets engrained into you. you have a schedule. you make friendships. but it is bittersweet. getting to spend the majority of moments watching benjamin grow is something i feel extremely blessed to be able to do. it will be a change. but it will be a good change from what i've been accustomed to for so long.

as a mom now, i finally found my reason. its for him.
so a new chapter begins.

its been a life changing four weeks.

can you believe it's been four weeks since I had Benjamin?? I can't believe how quickly it flew by. Next thing I know he will be asking me to buy him a car. Yikes!

During these four weeks I have learned so many things about myself that I was not prepared for.

I learned patience. Excessive amounts of patience. No one really knows how hard being a parent is until you are home, on your own and your child is crying and you can't figure out why. You have tried everything and nothing consoles them. It's the worst feeling in the world to not be able to console your child. It makes you feel like the worst parent in the world. But it's times like this that you have to take a deep breath and tell yourself it's going to get better.

I've learned that postpartum depression is no joke. I cried everyday for what seemed like for days. The hormone roller coaster makes you feel completely crazy on the inside. It makes you want to just walk away from everything. Without my supporting family and husband, i could have easily become one of those stats. But luckily those feelings have subsided. It was just the baby blues that we all experience for the first weeks after birth. But I do have a much deeper sympathy for those moms who aren't so lucky. And if you think you have postpartum depression don't fret, just talk to your doctor and get help. You aren't any less of a mom. I promise.

Ive learned love. Real love. The love I have for my husband and Benjamin are much stronger than I ever thought possible. It's amazing how that feeling hits you once your child gets here. And how it gets stronger everyday.

And just one more thing. I have decided to share photos of Benjamin on my blog. Enjoy!

maybe its hormones.. or maybe some people are just a-holes.

via

being pregnant is tough. and not all smiley like people say it is.

and maybe its my out of whack, raging hormones that have made me ultra sensitive

but here lately, people have really been getting under my skin.

case in point.

this morning, a co-worker said my baby was going to be born two months early.

who does that?

the record of my days are stuck on repeat

is it bad when you start getting emails from people wondering where the heck you're at because you havent blogged, tweeted, anything in over a week? is it worse when the desire isnt even there, so you dont exactly feel completely guilty?

well thats been the case with me lately.  its nothing personal or some kind of vendetta against anyone. i just havent feel like myself.  this pregnancy has really made me feel like crud & i'm anxiously counting down the days til the end of my first trimester so maybe these sickening feelings will go away. i can hope right?

and besides the battles of fatigue, nausea and vomitting, theres work. and lots of it. we have been beyond busy, so the last thing i want to do when i get home is crank up the computer for more typing. i'm sorry.

and birthdays. yikes for birthdays this month. husbands was yesterday. mines in two weeks. my grandmas is a week after that. its been what seems like constant celebrations & running lately and my poor self is feeling busted.

and whats worse? for my birthday, i'm totally content with a blue haired style dinner at lubys at like 5 so i can be home and asleep by 9 or 10. oh i'm such a loser anymore.

i promise here soon i will be back to normalcy and posting regularly will resume.

as far as the social swap -  i havent forgotten. well i kind of did.  pregnancy and business does that to a person. so i will send out the names for everyone, but lets push this out to use the august 15 deadline to get letters, trinkets, gifts, what have you out. plenty of time if you ask me. 

i will do a link up later this week or early next to all the participants from last month.  my super duper apologies regarding my lack of organization and getting these out sooner. 

a note from the editor..

♥

last week was a crazy, crazy whirlwind of rollercoaster moments.  from emotions like those of a tilt-a-whirl to the mental anquish of the wild mouse, i needed a time out from the social world, including the blog & twitter.

for those that don't know, the misters step dad, was diagnosed with cancer the week we got married. and its gradually taken its toll on his health.  right now we are all dealing with many, many things and decisions, all of which no person ever wants to be in a situation to make.  we are literally taking it day by day, hoping for the best, preparing for the worst.

and this post isnt meant to put people in a damper mood. its just to update. to inform.  to let you all know where i am & a little of what is going on with me so if i'm not here for a few days or fall off the map for a week, thats where i probably am.

in more exciting news:

- peppermint mochas are the shiznit! and did i just say shiznit? um yea, i did.  i think over the last week, i've consumed more peppermint mochas than a person should probably consume in the christmas season. but hey, we all have flaws.  and if you haven't had the amazing pleasure of indulging in this little treat, do so and fast! you're missing out!

- i'm at something like 96 followers.  and i've mentioned several times before, that when i reach 100, this blog is having some pretty awesome giveaways.  actually at this point there are 4 chances to win.  so lets get to 100 friends, so we can all enjoy the fun giveaways. 

- christmas is in 40 days! and i can't wait.  i'm ready to put up the tree, hang my decor and start wrapping presents.   and baking! over the next couple of weeks i will be sharing a few of my favorite holiday treat recipes for you all to enjoy.


thats all i've got for now. 
i hope everyone is doing amazing
& can't wait to get updated on all your posts!

bittersweet - the backstory of When A Girl Met A Boy

Driving to and from work gives me alot of thinking time. Alot of time to think about how my life could have been different if this or that would have happened. Like:

Would my life be different if I went to the prom?
Would my life be different if I didnt quit TAMUCC and move back home?

Would my life be different if I never signed on that day?

Would my life be different if I never said no?

Would my life be different if I was different?

Would my life be different statements run through all of our heads at some point in time. Some of us more than others. I used to be really guilty of having all those what if moments in my life, until I met the mister.

The mister and I had an unconventional, but growing way of meeting, but I have to give you a little back story first.

I hated dating. So much that I hated the concept until I was sixteen, when I had my first date ever, and it was because my cousin set me up on a date - which by the way failed miserably.

After that I never really dated much, just because I was more focused on school and graduating then about how many guys I would date through my high school career or how popular I was. Consider me the school bookworm, nerd, dork, ugly girl, whatever. I never was popular when it came to the guys in high school. I was like the girl in She's All That or Never Been Kissed. Always the butt of the joke, never the joke maker. And I was okay with that.

High school came and went. I moved to Corpus Christi to study biology. Met a guy, who was, looking back a total scumbag, got homesick and moved home. This lasted about a year and a half.

Once I moved back home I just kinda went with the flow and dated someone else for what at that point seemed like a long time. It seemed to work. But life took an unexpected turn when I found out he was still seeing from time to time his past girlfriend. And I'm not one that likes conflict - I avoid conflict like the plaque! I get all red and flushed and feel like crying when conflict happens. But this I couldn't take. Cheating is just something no person should have to tolerate. We broke up & at that point I really swore of guys. Like its just not happening, no way no how.

My friends said Bethani you have to get back out there. They are not all this way. So I tried. And tried. And tried. Finally a friend of mine said, "Try out Match. You have a free trial. If you don't like it, cancel." So I did.

With just a few days until the end of the trial, my faith in online dating was going down the toliet until I got a message from the mister. He seemed way too good to be true. Seriously. I had a guard up at that point. I didn't trust ANYONE of the male gender. But we began talking. And talking.

At the same time the mister and I began talking, my grandpa (mother's father) became very ill and had to be admitted to the hospital..  This was a few days before Christmas 2008. 

On December 12, 2008 the mister and I met face to face for the first time and man was he quite the looker.  I was totally smitten at that time.  We had dinner & went to a movie.  From that day on we were insepereable.  

Christmas came and went and so did the New Year.  Things with the mister were moving right along.  Then on January 10, 2008 I was to meet his mom and step-dad.  Oh I was so nervous.  This was the same day, my grandpa was moving into a new rehab hospital, so he could finish up recovery.  I had butterflies in my stomach all day.  What would his mother think of me?  Would she approve?   Dinner came along and I met what I now know would be my future mother & father in laws.  Everything was great.  The food was delish and the conversation was better.  Until the phone rang. 

It was my dad, and the thing about me and my dad, is we don't call each other much, so I KNEW something had to be wrong.  Its just not in him to call like that, especially since they knew I was meeting his mom and step dad that night.  I remember his tone that night, it was different.  Not like other days.  This was the beginning of the end.

His words were along the line of "You need to get to the hospital, Grandpa is dying."  Those words were the words I never wanted to hear from anyone about anyone.  But that's life so we deal with it.  I remember the teardrops immediately began running down my face while I'm standing in the mister's mother's house.  I felt embarassed.  The people I met only a few hours ago are already seeing me at my worst. 

I knew I had to leave and get to the hospital and FAST!  So I grabbed my purse, hugged them goodbye and headed for the door.  The mister was behind me.  I had every intention of telling him bye as well, but he said, "I'm taking to you to the hospital." "Really, you want to do that?" ran through my mind.  He hadn't met any of my family at that point either.  I was like this is not the time or place to be meeting my family.  I was scared for him! Really scared!   The drive to the hospital was the longest drive of my life.  The road kept going and going.  We finally arrived & the mister met my family.  The whole family! 

And that was the night (well 2am the next morning January 11, 2009) that my grandpa died and went to be with his Lord and the night I realized the mister was the one I was going to marry.

make life hearty and plentiful

love


so far 2011 has been a roller coaster of emotions and we are only five days in. 

1.the mister and i have managed to get all the attire figured out & reserved/bought for the bridal party, minus shoes and jewelry for the girls, but i have a feeling that will be super easy. this has me super excited that i will have everything done and complete in PLENTY of time before the big day!

2. i learned that a dear co-worker of mine (now retired) has only 3-6 months left to live. he was diagnosed with cancer last year, and has been a determined fighter through it all. only thing, i  really hate when doctors play God & give death sentences.  the only person who REALLY knows is God. people should be able to live life without the worry of that sentence & how much time is "left." sorry little personal opinion rant just happened there. 

3. i found out my mother has a torn rotator cuff - thus requiring surgery.  All will be okay though - I'm just ready for her to have her arm feeling good again. 

4. the mister and i have a date to go cake tasting, flower picking and decor deciding for the wedding in february - i can't wait for all that yummy baked goodness to hit my tastebuds. hopefully my our decision on cake flavors aren't too hard, because i really love cake!

5. i watched a school friend bury her little sister. 
6. i've completed an item of my list of 2011 To-Dos - sent out my first round of pen pal mailings and received one back; Courtney - you are too cute and such a doll!

it sometimes feels as though we can't wait for things/events to happen.  we plan and plan. we hope and hope. just for that one day to get here.  and when its finally here, we look back, going where has all that time gone. what did i do during that time?  i thought that exact thing this morning when i typed out today's date - January 5, 2011.  i still have trouble believing its already 2011 and everything that has already occured in the short five days. 

i need to learn to savor the day more.  make more of each and every day that we have. it would make life more precious to me, if i feel content with each day knowing i lived it fully. i also need to capture more of my days with photographs & blogging them - so many times i look back thinking "shoot, that would have been a good photo op!"

and to help with that i'm also going to begin looking for volunteer work here in the next couple of days or so, once i decide what it is i want to do.. and if the mister wants to get involved - what he would prefer to do as well.  i really would like the whole soup kitchen type work again - it really allows for one on one contact with those you are helping, plus allows me to get my hands into one of the fields i love, cooking and feeding yumminess to the world.  (i will keep an update going on the volunteer work search and completion)

i want to make my life more plentiful and hearty like a chicken pot pie.  yummy, lots of components/ingredients & layers, nourishing, a semi-tough exterior but soft and surprising inside, and warm to the soul! 

if your life was a food, what food would it be a why?

are you truly & honestly happy?

courtesy of.

I don't know how many of my readers out there watch CBS on Monday nights, more particularly How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM.) The mister and I are pretty consistent on staying current with our TV shows, so after tux shopping last night, which ended with a check off our to-do list, we were able to squeeze in one of our Monday night regulars, HIMYM.

We managed to get caught up in the countdown of numbers from 50 as soon as the first scene began.  Did anyone else catch this countdown?  At some points I believe I was so busy trying to find the next number I missed parts of the show.  

Spoiler alert begins now if you haven't watched yet.  Next thing you know, Lily is getting out of taxi "001" crying and breaks the news to our ever so beloved Marshall that his dad had a heart attack and passed away, ending the episode with the two hugging and crying in the rain. 

Maybe it was just me, maybe it was everyone watching, but I was NOT expecting that.  And by not expecting that, I mean, I felt the tears a little beginning to fill in my eyes.  Seriously? The first episode into the New Year starts like this?   How can CBS do that?  But I started thinking, which we all know I'm terribly good at.

I'm sure things had to be bittersweet for Marshall and Lily; something terrible had to happen for them to be overcome with joy of a pregnancy maybe?  I don't know.  I'm the world's worst about NEEDING to try and predict what happens on the next episode.

But spoiling the show for someone or ranting about the outcome was not the whole reason for my post.  I think HIMYM and the producers had somewhat of a hidden meaning behind it for our New Year or maybe I just found/created my own hidden message so I can justify watching. I don't know, I'm goofy like that at times.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our day to day routines that we don't live our lives to the fullest that we miss tons of opportunities to be with those we love or doing what we love.  We do this because we want to ensure life is perfect. Life isn't always perfect. Let life runs it course, God has a plan for you. You're here for a reason. Maybe you won't have that baby like Marshall and Lily, but as we saw with Marshall's parents, that was ok - life wouldn't be ruined if they didn't have one. Marshall's parents were still beaming with happiness everytime we saw them, no matter what they were doing or how life was going. They were living their lives to the max! and wanted the same happiness for Marshall and Lily. I'm glad by the end of the episode Marshall and Lily found some of that happiness knowing that they are both able to have children, and that life will continue if they don't have that baby tomorrow.

So my challenge is to take one day at a time.  Live your life.  Be who you want to be and fulfill the dreams and wants you want to fulfill.  Its not always about making sure you're life makes everyone else happy, because your life belongs to you.  You are the first person that you need to make happy, then you will be able to make others truly happy. Its also not always about making sure everything is perfect and storybook.  Your life is going to have road bumps.  Its going to stray from the normal course sometimes.  THAT IS OKAY! That is what keeps our lives interesting and from being terribly boring.  That's why its YOUR life, no one else has it.  God planned it especially for you,  because he knows you can handle it. And you can handle it! No matter how low some days feel, I believe in you, as well as many others.

Make sure your days are lived as though they could be your last.  We aren't guaranteed tomorrow or the next day.  Hell, we aren't guaranteed the full day when we wake up.  God is the only one who knows when your last breath and blink will be.  So let's make every day count!

We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round.

-Edward Cole: "The Bucket List"

I have begun my own bucket list and decided to share it with my readers as a way to see what I'm up to.

Here's what I have so far - but I'm adding it as a page on the sidebar so you can see my progress over time.

My list:

1. Make it down the aisle. 2. Own a home with the mister. 3. Dine with a celebrity. 4. Have a spa day. 5. Go to Bass Hall and see a show. 6. Go back to NYC. 7. Ice skate at Rockafeller Center. 8. Visit Canada. 9. Start an ETSY shop. 10. See my neice and nephew graduate. 11. Make Beef Bourguignon. 12. Eat Fondue. 13. Meet in person a fellow blogger. 14. Tour the Smithsonian. 15. Visit Paris, France with the one I love. 16. Ride in a Hot Air Balloon. 17. Get over my fear of needles. 18. Give blood. 19. Wear a single digit pant size. 20. Go to a Super Bowl. 21. Stay at a Bed & Breakfast. 22. Ride in a Limo. 23. Go to the Ballet. 24. Ride in a subway. 25. Ride a horse. 26. Stay in the French Quarter. 27. Visit Greece. 28. Take a trip all via train. 29. Learn how to knit. 30. Go to a Ski Resort & learn to ski. 31. Scuba Dive 32. Visit Las Vegas. 33. Have an international pen pal. 34.

Enjoy!

relish.

weheartit

Relish in the moment today. Stop for a moment and enjoy everything around you. I think we are too busy as a world, just to look around to see the beauty of the world and all the things out there that we take advantage of every day.


Back in the day and by that I mean like '97ish, a song came out that I think should be a constant theme song or prelude to our days and how we should live them. Baz Luhrman. I really think he knew what he was doing when he created this song, but so many of us didn't take the time to listen.

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

You're not as fat as your imagine.

Don't worry about the the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing!

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Dont waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still dont.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you wont. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you wont.... .... Whatever you do, don't Congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body.

Dance... even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your sibilings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likley to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.

Travel.

Respect your elders.

I hope these snippets bring a little peace and uplift to your day. Hopefully we can all learn a little something about how we should enjoy ourselves as much as possible, as we don't know when it will be over. We don't want to look back and have those what if moments.

What little things do you do as a reminder to yourself that you are the most imporant?